Jana PleytoAlcohol gave me the wings to fly and then took away my sky..
January 26th 2007 23:21
As you know, I spent the most crucial years of my life out of my mind. I was drunk, stoned, speeding, bombed or experiencing drug induced psychosis...sounds fun eh?!
You know, I always felt that I would never be able to dance or talk to other people at parties and in clubs unless I was smashed. I never thought I could be funny or charming unless I was blind drunk.
I remember when I first came into my 12 step program and fellowship and someone said to me 'all you have to do is just not pick up that first drink today'..and I thought 'ahuh sure, today..but then theres my dughters 18th, her 21st, Xmas', birthdays, easter...' My daughters 21st..ha! She was only 3 at the time people. I was a mere 22 myself. I just coudnt imagine life without booze and drugs..I simply cold not see a sober future..how boring!
God that's unfortunate thinking and I am so grsteful to be rid of it today. Today Im 27 and clean and sober and I talk to people and I dance and I am funny at parties..totally sober, For me, its all about how confident and comfortable I am with myself.
Its all about who we surround ourselves with in this life..I have wonderful supportive friends in my life. People that love who I am, regardless of whether I wil have a drink or a bong with them.
You see, when I first got clean and sober, the hardest and most heartbreaking part was that the friends I had back then wouldnt accept it. They tried so many ways and tactics of pressuring me into wiping myself out. They said I was weak, scared, as loser and some even went as far as t say that I was unAustralian..
I dont have those friends anymore. It took me a long time to work it out, but when my self esteem grew, I realised they werent the people I wanted in my life.
Some people can have a drink and have a good time. Some people can have a social drink , they can have one or two..personally I dont see the point.
I cant stop at one. I cant stop at two. One is too many and one hundred is never enough. I would swipe drinks off bars, skull with the boys and sometimes even wet the bed..I was 21 years old.
Alcohol gave me wings to fly and then took away my sky.
I can be around drinkers and still have a great time. The obsession to drink left me a long time ago because I got interested in living..I decided to paricipate in the land of the living.
I am so grateful for my life today.
AND the last time I was called unAustralian was last night at a party..I didnt know the words to Khe San.
What do you think?
You know, I always felt that I would never be able to dance or talk to other people at parties and in clubs unless I was smashed. I never thought I could be funny or charming unless I was blind drunk.
I remember when I first came into my 12 step program and fellowship and someone said to me 'all you have to do is just not pick up that first drink today'..and I thought 'ahuh sure, today..but then theres my dughters 18th, her 21st, Xmas', birthdays, easter...' My daughters 21st..ha! She was only 3 at the time people. I was a mere 22 myself. I just coudnt imagine life without booze and drugs..I simply cold not see a sober future..how boring!
God that's unfortunate thinking and I am so grsteful to be rid of it today. Today Im 27 and clean and sober and I talk to people and I dance and I am funny at parties..totally sober, For me, its all about how confident and comfortable I am with myself.
Its all about who we surround ourselves with in this life..I have wonderful supportive friends in my life. People that love who I am, regardless of whether I wil have a drink or a bong with them.
You see, when I first got clean and sober, the hardest and most heartbreaking part was that the friends I had back then wouldnt accept it. They tried so many ways and tactics of pressuring me into wiping myself out. They said I was weak, scared, as loser and some even went as far as t say that I was unAustralian..
I dont have those friends anymore. It took me a long time to work it out, but when my self esteem grew, I realised they werent the people I wanted in my life.
I cant stop at one. I cant stop at two. One is too many and one hundred is never enough. I would swipe drinks off bars, skull with the boys and sometimes even wet the bed..I was 21 years old.
Alcohol gave me wings to fly and then took away my sky.
I can be around drinkers and still have a great time. The obsession to drink left me a long time ago because I got interested in living..I decided to paricipate in the land of the living.
I am so grateful for my life today.
AND the last time I was called unAustralian was last night at a party..I didnt know the words to Khe San.
What do you think?
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